Mother's Day

Mother's day is nearing and it makes me think about everything Max and I have been through together. I'll never forget how nervous and terrified I was when I found out I was pregnant. By the time nine months rolled around I thought that I was prepared to handle this tiny little infant. He definately had some surprises of his own for me. My little bundle of joy came 2 1/2 weeks early. I was in labor for thirteen miserable hours when he finally decided to grace us with his presence. He weighed 7 lb. 9 oz. and was 20 in. long. He was beautiful.

He was two weeks old and never cried when my mom jinxed us. "You are so lucky, this baby never cries, she said" It was almost as if a light bulb went on inside of him because I swear it was only a matter of days until the crying never seemed to end. He had collic and it didn't just happen at night, oh no, it came all day throughout the day. After an awful trip to the store where Max began crying and wouldn't stop until we were back in the car, Josh came home from school and I vowed that I would never leave the house alone with the baby again. Max and I both cried for four months.

Now looking back on all the tough times, I wouldn't take any of it back for anything (I know it is much easier to say this now). Max has always been a stubborn child with a mind of his own and he was telling me that right from the get go. He has challenged me a lot and although it has been stressful at times, it is his personality and I would never try to change that. He loves being around anyone who will pay him attention. He doesn't have any siblings to play with yet, but will make friends with all the kids at the park every time we go. He loves being around babies and is surprisingly really good with younger children. He is going to be an awesome big brother someday. I am so lucky to be his mom and I'm excited to see what new challenge he will throw at me next.

Max really loves to tease his dad. Here he is eating his dad's cupcake because he had already eaten his own.

He thought it was so funny teasing his dad.

I'm making a cake for Mother's day and Max automatically thinks that cake means that it is someone's birthday. He started telling me "Happy birthday, Mom". I tried explaining that he needs to say Happy Mother's day, but this is what comes out every time: "Happy Birthday, Happy Mother's Day mom". It's so darn cute! If all my kids are this cute, I'm going to have to have a dozen.

Seven Year Itch????

MOST DEFINATELY NOT! On Saturday, May 9th, Josh and I will be celebrating our seven year anniversary. Holy Cow, I can't believe it has been that long. It will be eight years since we got engaged which was also on May 9th, one year before we got married. I've been so caught up lately with all the problems that we have had to face that I've lost sight of all the positives in my life. Josh and Max are definately number 1, in my life. I am so lucky to be married to my best friend. We've always had so much fun together and Josh knows me better than anyone else. I can't imagine going through half of the things that he has been through and still being as sane (most of the time :) ) as he is. He is the rock, in our family and helps to keep me calm when things get tough. I'm even more in love with him now than I was on our wedding day.


The picture above is Homecoming for USU 2001, we were engaged and this was the night before Josh left for Kuwait. I love this picture because you can see how genuinely happy we are in it and still are today (sorry Emily, you get to be in the picture too). It's funny how it all started when I was working at the outdoor swimming pool. Josh came swimming, a number was left on a wallet and BAHM, here we are today with such an awesome son, Max. He has got so much personality and loves everyone, and I have to admit, we made a cute kid. He is so much fun and is so good with younger kids. I know he is going to be an awesome big brother some day.

I just want to end this post by telling Josh how much I love and appreciate him. He is such an amazing husband and father. I couldn't have picked anyone better.

Sweet New Hobby

Ever since I got married I feel that I lost all of my hobbies. I decided to start up a new hobby and I'm absolutely loving it. I took my first cake decorating class. It was so fun to learn so many creative ways to decorate cakes and cupcakes. It was very difficult letting Josh take my first cake to work with him to share with his co-workers. I was really proud of this cake and it seemed such a shame to go and cut it up. Oh well, that's what cakes are for after all, and it was better he do that than leave it at home for me to eat. Here is a picture of my first sweet creation.

Baby Animal Days

I was worried that Max would be afraid of the animals, but to my surprise he was very eager to hold and pet all of them. He had so much fun! His favorite part was riding the pony. He soon found that it is a lot different than just riding the horse on the merry-go-round. As soon as the pony started walking it made

Max jerk backwards, but luckily I was there to keep him on. After that he was giggling and having a lot of fun waving at Grandma. It was kind of chilly and extremely muddy, but that's okay because Max was completely dressed from head-to-toe for the occassion. All-in-all it was a great day! Max was a very happy and surprisingly pleasant the entire time. I can't wait for next year!

Easter was a lot of fun this year too! We had an Easter party w/an Easter Egg Hunt at our house with Josh's family and my parents came too. The kids loved the hunt and it was fun to spend time with family. Max got a tee-ball set from the Easter bunny. He's getting pretty good at hitting the ball. It's so cute to see Josh coaching him and playing with him. I love my boys!

You Have a What??????

The other morning I was making breakfast for Max and myself when he came to the top of the stairs and yelled:
Max: "MOM"
Me: What Max?
Max: Need to go
Me: Where are you going sweetheart?
Max: Max have hot date
Me: (LOL) You have a what????
Max: Max have hot date
Me: With who?
Max: With friend
Me: Okay, well you better come have some breakfast first :)
Max: Okay
I kept wondering where in the world Max would here something like this and I couldn't figure it out. I later told my mom what happened and she just started laughing. A couple Saturdays ago my parents watched Max while Josh and I went to dinner and a movie. When Max asked where mom and dad were, my mom said, "they went on a hot date." I guess it stuck. He is so cute!!!

Max just kickin' back at the bowling alley


Trying on Emily's high heels

Thanks to Emily I am posting some cute pictures of Max from Sheri's birthday party. He and I had a lot of fun bowling with everyone.

I also have some fun pictures from Baby Animal days and Easter that I will be posting soon!

How to Deal

Why do we have trials in our lives? I know that these trials make us stronger, but COME ON. I'll be the first to admit that I had it pretty easy growing up. I was a little spoiled, but I wouldn't say that I was spoiled rotten. Life was great!

I met Josh, we got married and then WHAM.... it seems that NOTHING ever comes easy anymore. The most recent trial has been my miscarriage. Josh doesn't understand why I still cry about it and honestly I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay when people talk to me about it. I just found out that yet another one of my friends is pregnant and I am very happy for her. It also brings the reminder that I am not pregnant which makes me very sad. I feel horrible that this happy news makes me so sad, but I can't help how I feel.

We started trying 10 months ago. It took us six months to get pregnant and then 11 weeks later I miscarried. Why does it seem so easy for everyone around me???? My heart just aches right now and honestly I don't see myself being completely over it any time soon. I know five different women who are all due within 6 weeks of what was my due date so how am I suppose to heal? They are all currently finding out the sex of their babies and I am really trying to stay happy for them and deep down I truely am happy for them, but it just makes me angry at myself. What is wrong with me?

For those of you who have never dealt with this before, please choose your words wisely when you are trying to offer words of comfort. My mother-in-law, although she means well told me that it's better that it happened to me and not her other daughter-in-law, who is due 10 days after my date. The reason is because I already have a child and she does not. She also told me to be grateful for Max. I truely am grateful for Max, he is the light of my life and I can't imagine my life without him. It is easy for someone who had five children just fine to say this, However, regardless of whether it is a woman's first or tenth pregnancy, miscarriage hurts just the same. It hurt to hear this and she also gave me the impression that she doesn't think that I'm going to be able to have any more children, WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I'm not mad at my mother-in-law for saying this, I just need to express my feelings about everything and my blog is the best way to do it.

This blog is pretty depressing I know. I've had a rough day.

Disneyland

We had so much fun at Disneyland last weekend. Max's favorite part was meeting all the Disney characters. He also loved riding the rides, especially the Dumbo ride. He was laughing and smiling the entire time. I'm so happy that we were able to do this together as a family. We've had a rough year so far and definately needed this.