Why do we have trials in our lives? I know that these trials make us stronger, but COME ON. I'll be the first to admit that I had it pretty easy growing up. I was a little spoiled, but I wouldn't say that I was spoiled rotten. Life was great!
I met Josh, we got married and then WHAM.... it seems that NOTHING ever comes easy anymore. The most recent trial has been my miscarriage. Josh doesn't understand why I still cry about it and honestly I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay when people talk to me about it. I just found out that yet another one of my friends is pregnant and I am very happy for her. It also brings the reminder that I am not pregnant which makes me very sad. I feel horrible that this happy news makes me so sad, but I can't help how I feel.
We started trying 10 months ago. It took us six months to get pregnant and then 11 weeks later I miscarried. Why does it seem so easy for everyone around me???? My heart just aches right now and honestly I don't see myself being completely over it any time soon. I know five different women who are all due within 6 weeks of what was my due date so how am I suppose to heal? They are all currently finding out the sex of their babies and I am really trying to stay happy for them and deep down I truely am happy for them, but it just makes me angry at myself. What is wrong with me?
For those of you who have never dealt with this before, please choose your words wisely when you are trying to offer words of comfort. My mother-in-law, although she means well told me that it's better that it happened to me and not her other daughter-in-law, who is due 10 days after my date. The reason is because I already have a child and she does not. She also told me to be grateful for Max. I truely am grateful for Max, he is the light of my life and I can't imagine my life without him. It is easy for someone who had five children just fine to say this, However, regardless of whether it is a woman's first or tenth pregnancy, miscarriage hurts just the same. It hurt to hear this and she also gave me the impression that she doesn't think that I'm going to be able to have any more children, WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I'm not mad at my mother-in-law for saying this, I just need to express my feelings about everything and my blog is the best way to do it.
This blog is pretty depressing I know. I've had a rough day.
Kristen! I truly am sorry for the things you have had to experience and endure. You have honeslty been in my thoughts for some time now...I worry 'bout ya. I think as women...we can't help but think and handle things differntly than men do (there is definitely nothing wrong with you in any way, shape or form). I hope that you will be able to find comfort...I just wish I knew what I could do for you. I hope you remember that you have more love and support than the people you see on a daily basis. Please let me know of anything I can ever do to help. xoxo
ReplyDeleteKristen,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having a rough time. I know from experience how you feel, I had a total of 5 miscarriage to get my 3 girls. I don't think you ever really get over it but, it does get easier as time goes by. It's okay for you to be sad and it's okay for you to cry. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always around.
Love you,
Aunt Linda
I've been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I found myself crying about my miscarriage earlier this week, and it has been 6 1/2 months. I know my situation is different, but it still hurts that I lost a baby. It is much easier to deal with now, but I don't think you really get over it. Please call or text me if you ever need to talk. I'm always here for you.
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