Expecting a Miracle!

I know I am a horrible blogger, but it is really difficult to find the time to post everything online.  Max is in Kindergarten and he loves his teacher!  He has made a lot of friends and can't wait to invite them over for playdates.  Right now he is involved in flag football and loves to play.  He is so smart and is learning to read.  His teacher has commented on what a nice boy he is and how he easily makes friends.  This really makes me happy to see him love school and have lots of friends!  He is also the best big brother to Clay and Chloe.  He just adores the twins and they love playing with their big brother.

Chloe is such a funny little girl.  She loves to tease!  She will hold something out for you to grab, and then pulls it back and laughs when you can't get it.  She also loves to carry her baby around and cuddles it, and gives it lots of kisses.  I was warned that little girls are very dramatic and oh my word is that true.  If she wants something or Clay takes something from her, she will pout her little lips and cry to me or Josh until she gets her way.  Oh my, does she have her daddy wrapped around her little finger.  I just love her great big bear hugs she gives us!  I love having a girl!

Clay is such a sweet little guy.  He loves his mommy and always wants to be on my lap.  He is the crazy kid who is in to EVERYTHING!  Chloe just follows him around, but Clay is the one who is the trouble maker.  We are currently trying to teach the twins the word NO, but it has become a challenge with Clay.  Everytime we point our finger at him and say NO NO, he smiles and points to his nose.  He has lost his chubbiness and is starting to look more like a little boy.  He loves balls, and loves to kick and throw them with us.  Josh is very excited about this.  I love my sweet little baby boy. 

A couple of months ago, Josh and I got the biggest surprise of our lives up to this point.  We found out we were expecting!  How could this be?  The University of Utah doctors had given us a 1% chance of ever conceiving again, yet here we are.  Even though doctors tell you that something is not possible, that doesn't mean that our Heavenly Father doesn't have some other plan for us.  I know that He loves us, and that this baby is meant to come to our family.  I am so full of love and joy, and I'm also a little scared as well to have another with the twins only being 14 months old.  But I know that everything will work out.  The heartbeat is strong and everything is looking great!  We are expecting our little miracle to arrive in April.  I cannot fully express everything I am feeling right now.  I am still in shock!  Sometimes I feel guilty for ever feeling sorry for myself while struggling with infertility and here I am, about to be a mother to 4 children.   

I have so many pictures to post soon and really will try to update my blog more. 

Christmas 2011

We've made it a family tradition to take a trip to the Heber Valley Railroad to ride the Polar Express. Max has LOVED trains since I can remember! It doesn't matter what type of train, he likes them all. I love this because my Grandpa Eyre was a train conductor for the railroad. There is one picture in particular of my grandpa in his full uniform that I really wish I had a copy of to show to Max.

This year we went just the three of us. My parents watched the babies for us so Max could have mom and dad all to himself for the night. It felt really good to be able to shower him with attention, and smothering him with hugs and kisses which he loves! Ever since the twins were born, i've had a difficult time adjusting to the fact that I can't always give all my attention to just him. My world revolved around Max before the twins, so this was a much needed trip for us.

We drank hot chocolate, ate yummy cookies, and sang Christmas carols. Max was in heaven because he was on a train and headed to see Santa. I love this tradition of ours and can't wait until Clay and Chloe can share in the joy of trains and Santa. There's nothing better than seeing your child's face light up with excitement.

The highlight of course, was seeing SANTA! When asked what he wanted for Christmas, he of course asked for a toy Polar Express train that he can play with all year long. See, we have a Polar Express train to go around a tree, but it gets put away after Christmas for the year. Somehow, Santa came through! I have no idea how he did it, but WOW I was impressed ;)

Showing off his new t-ball bat that goes with his new t-ball stand.

Playing with their Christmas presents from uncle K.C.

Max got spoiled by grandma and grandpa.

They just love time with dad!

Our family Christmas card went a little something like this:

Silent Night?

Yeah Right!

Hello Again!

I am a horrible blogger, but the reason is because I just struggle with adding posts. My pictures are so far apart, I can't get a new background saved for some reason, etc...... I know these aren't very good excuses, but when you don't have a lot of time as it is, it's easy to forget.

A friend in my ward took these pictures of the babies. They were almost 3 months old at the time. I love how they turned out!

Peach Days!

The weather was warm for Peach Days so we were able to take all three kids to the festivities. It was nice to finally get out. I think it was our first big outing as a family. Clay and Chloe were so good and slept the entire time which was nice because we were able to give Max some undivided attentention. He loved eating ribs with his dad and made sure I would get a picture of him eating.

Josh and Max went for a helicopter ride and this 5 year old was in heaven. I think he's going to share a love for flying with his dad.

This is a picture of took of them after they came back from their ride. Max was all smiles the rest of the night and wouldn't stop talking about it. It was definately the highlight of his week.

Of course we had to hit up the rides. You can't go to Peach Days without going on rides.

We all had a great time. I can't wait for next year when Clay and Chloe will be a little older and it will be easier to get out and about.

Be sure to check my postings below. This is the last of 4 that I've posted tonight. I really haven't had much time to update this blog, but tonight I'm at work. Oh......I LOVE my job!!!

Photo Shoot

Since I myself have a professional camera, I thought I would try taking some fun newborn shots of my little ones. Easier said than done is all I have to say. They both have reflux so it is difficult to lay them down and for them to stay calm and happy. I do not claim to be a professional, so don't critique my pictures please. I also haven't had the time to photshop them either. I think these pictures show their little personalities that are starting to come out. Clay seems to be more of an easy going baby. Chloe, although adorable, is always fussy and mad it seems. Well, here's how our photo shoot went.

Some Blessings Come in Twos!!

This past Sunday, we had the opportunity to bless both of our miracle babies. It was a perfect day! The weather was warm, we all got ready for church on time with no fights, and we had a great turnout of family. Josh was so sweet while blessing Clay and Chloe. He got emotional during the blessing and I think people were surprised to see this side of Josh. Normally he has such a hard exterior, but when it comes to his kids, he is MUSH!!! Josh has a very sweet and tender side to him that mostly just myself and the kids get to see, which makes me feel very special.

I shared my testimony for the first time since Max's blessing day. I was so nervous, but the words just came to me and everything seemed to flow. Of course, I couldn't get through it without tearing up, but that's just me. It was so sweet to look down and see my sweet little 5 year old just smiling at me and listening to me with his undivided attention. I was crying and felt like he was just looking at me thinking, Mom, it's okay, everything is going to be alright. He later told me that he doesn't want me to speak in church again because it makes me so sad. I had to explain that those were happy tears. He didn't quite understand that concept.

Josh's mom gave a very sweet testimony. It was nice to hear her speak. His grandad also got up and spoke. I am always so intrigued to hear what he has to say. My uncle Mitch, also got up to speak. He spoke of miracles! My two little babies are miracles, and he also is a living miracle. My uncle is still alive after a grueling fight with Leukemia. It was a nice testimony and I just felt the spirit all around me. My cousin, Luke, also spoke. It was nice to have him there since we were good friends when we were teenagers.

Those is the circle were:

Josh's father (Jeff), brother (J.J.), and grandad (John). My uncle Mitch, uncle Shawn, and my cousins: Luke, T.J., Nick, Adam and Daniel.

Afterward, we all headed back to my house for a yummy lunch and to visit. I couldn't have asked for this day to go better. I will always remember this special experience.

This is our first family picture!

Josh's Grandad holding Clay (his great-grandson)

Aunt Ashley holding Chloe

Grandma and Grandpa with all 3 grandkids

This is the Beach side's first family picture since before Max was born. I just love the proud big brother Max's smile in this picture!

This is a great 4 generation picture. Josh's grandad (John) is the one in the bowtie, which he is known for sporting on a daily basis. Josh's mom is on the right and then you have Josh, and his 3 children. It was very special to have them all there.

Someone Else's Shoes

Occassionally I am able to get a moment of peace in the mornings while Max is at preschool. Sometimes I like to watch Studio 5 at 11:00 in the mornings. This month the theme for their show is putting yourself in someone else's shoes. I just so happened to be watching it this morning when the topic was sensitivity to couples dealing with infertility. They brought on a lady who had dealt with infertility for 5 years before she was able to become pregnant. She was giving some ideas for people who have friends/family experiencing infertility. This got me thinking how many times I had been unintentionally hurt by a person's comments and thought I would give a little input on my thoughts.

Have you ever been around a person who had recently gone through some tragedy and you have no idea how to act or what to sayto them because you've never exerienced the same thing? I think just about everyone would say yes. I'm sure people felt that way around me. I am a person who is open to talk about my infertility, but only if the topic comes up. Some people want to keep everything private and we really need to respect that.

Josh and I went through nearly 3 years of infertility. We were given a very low chance of success even with the help of doctors and it was absolutely devastating. I honestly felt like I had just lost a child. I had imagined since I was a teenager about being a mom and what my kids would look like, and who I would marry, etc..... To have this dream taken away, is just a horrific memory. I was always reminded by people saying: "At least you have one child," you just need to enjoy him. As if I didn't enjoy being a mom to the coolest kid in the world. This comment came from multiple women who have all had multiple children. Here are some other comments to avoid when talking to anyone experiencing infertility:

• When are you guys going to start having kids?


• Time for another kid don't you think?


• When commenting on the fact that Max has a difficult time sharing, "well, if he had a sibling that would fix the problem."


• Maybe you weren't meant to have kids or maybe you were meant to just have one


• You can always adopt.


• You just need to relax.


• You want kids, PLEASE take mine!


• There's probably a reason for it.


• You're still young, it will happen.


• My cousin adopted a baby and then, BOOM she got pregnant.


• I WISH I had that problem.


• I think that people who choose infertility treatments are,or just giving your opinion on the matter. Unless the couple asks for your opinion, keep it to yourself.


• You must be having lots of fun trying!


• My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant.


• Things could be worse.


• ***Do not walk up to the person especially if she's a woman in a group and ask her how it is going. That might just be the trigger that gets her to break down. If you are going to ask this question, do it in private.


• It's a good thing that YOU had the miscarriage instead of ______, since you already have a kid. **No joke, this was actually said to me.** Miscarriage is devastating no matter how many children you already have.


• If you know someone who is struggling with infertility, PLEASE don't start naming all the people you both know who are pregnant!


• Joking about being pregnant when you aren't is NOT funny. I don't understand why anyone would even joke about being pregnant. You never know what the recipient to your joke is thinking or if maybe they are going through infertility. This happened to me.


• When finding out someone is having twins, don't ask them if they used fertility treatments. It really isn't your business. I was asked this by so many people, even women I didn't know would ask this question.

Infertility is an emotional rollercoaster. When I was going through treatments, my hormones were all over the place. I did not always think rationally and I would cry at anything. Please remember this when you around an infertile. Infertility is devastating no matter how many kids you already have. I think that couples that already have a child, don't get the understanding from people as couples who don't have any. Secondary infertility is extremely common. I'm so glad that this topic was on Studio 5 today because most people don't think about it. There are so many people going through this, and I would bet that everyone who reads this know someone going through infertility, even if you aren't aware of it. Just remember that if you aren't sure you should say it, DON'T! Sometimes silence along with a hug is all it takes. If you haven't experienced this, there isn't anything you can say that will make the person feel better. Put yourself in her shoes, and let your friend know that you are there for her. Let HER be the one to open up about it first.

Well, that's my soap box for the day. I've got more pictures of my MIRACLE babies coming!!!